Parents group seeks answers on bullying

A father leaned forward in his chair and asked: Why are bullying victims punished for fighting back?

A mother said if a district isn't acting effectively to stop bullying, "Who is in charge? Who is responsible?"

Plainview-Old Bethpage Central School District Superintendent Gerard Dempsey Jr. looked sympathetic, if a bit discomfited. He'd come out to answer questions posed by members of a new parents group seeking tougher responses to chronic bullying, including mandatory punishment.

Bullying incidents have captured national attention in the past year, leading President Barack Obama to hold a White House conference on the issue for educators, parents and students Thursday. On Long Island, administrators are grappling for answers as they face a state mandate to have stronger measures in place by July 2012.

To the Plainview parents, Dempsey stressed that bullies face consequences, including suspension in some cases. But acknowledging the parents' frustration, he added, "What you're saying is it's not enough."

Nancy Speller of Old Bethpage, who helped form the group, spoke up. "Forgive me, I so respect you are listening to this committee . . . but kids commit suicide because of repeated bullying. I can't sleep at night. We don't have a year to wait."

The sense of urgency is fueled by the phenomenon of students who repeatedly bully as well as students who are bullied repeatedly, with districts seemingly unable to stop it. The Plainview parents organized their group after a case of repeat bullying.

Under the new state Dignity for All Students Act, all districts must have in place, after the end of the next school year, policies, programs and training to curb bias and bullying. Districts across the state are beginning to prepare for it: writing new, separate policies on bullying, and reviewing and adding a variety of new programs.

No state guides until fall

For now, districts are on their own, with little guidance and no extra funding. The state Education Department expects to issue guidelines and regulations by next fall, as well as examples of effective programs.

"The biggest request right now from the districts is for guidance on model policies and where we're going on any regulations," said Ken Slentz, the state Education Department associate commissioner for district services. "We're moving forward on this but with a keen eye on the budget realities."

Plainview-Old Bethpage, like other districts on Long Island, has drawn up and posted on its website a new draft policy. A member of the parents group, Arnie Lessman of Plainview, sits on a committee with members of the PTAs and the district's union bargaining units, to help review it.

Lessman said it was his son's hospitalization last spring -- from a medical condition that may have been worsened from stress after the then-seventh grader was punched and tripped by two boys who had victimized him before -- that spurred the group's formation.

Now the Plainview-Old Bethpage Parents Concerned about Bullying committee worries that new measures, such as lists of punishments for offenses that are optional but not mandatory, won't go far enough.

"I think the districts want a little bit of wiggle room and the parents, I would think, they don't want wiggle room," Lessman said. "They want zero tolerance in many ways."

Speller put it this way: "We want to see clearly, this is what is going to happen if you do this, this and this."

Dempsey said it's not that simple. "The only satisfactory answer I feel they want to hear is removal, expulsion, dismissal, and that is almost never in our toolbox," he said.

Situations 'are complicated'

Students can have legal representation at hearings where long-term suspension or expulsion -- punishments reserved for the most serious offense -- is at stake, he added. "I don't expect that we will put in place something that has a zero-tolerance guarantee. There are so many situations that are complicated, and we are dealing with young people."

Forcing students out of school for long periods of home tutoring, or to other schools at district expense, is not financially feasible, said Ginger Lieberman, a board of education member and co-director of a group that trains staff and parents on bullying prevention.

New programs to help change attitudes, and the training for all staff required under the new legislation, will help, Dempsey said.

More districtwide programs to change attitudes will help -- already some are in place, such as older students' puppet shows on bullying to help teach empathy to younger students.

"It's a long time ago since I was a teacher in the classroom, but I know if I had the training, I would have seen more, not all, but more," Dempsey said.

He also said parents and students have to be more forthcoming in reporting bullying.

As for Lessman, his son transferred to the district's other middle school and is doing well. But the boy won't be moving on to the district's high school in the fall. He will attend a Catholic high school that he and his parents say is better armed to stop bullying if it occurs.

"Each school is dealing with things in their own way," Lessman said of the public schools, "but it's not anywhere near where it needs to be, or where it's going to end up being."