Tricks to remembering people's names

Shakespeare’s Juliet declared to Romeo that names really aren’t that important with her famous words: “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

But Juliet never owned a service station. She never ran for office or practiced law. She never taught school. And she had the luxury of hiding behind a feathered mask when she walked into a room full of faces, unlike the rest of us who see the same situation as a minefield of names we might not remember.

“You’ve got to be scanning the horizon when you arrive at a party so you don’t get caught off guard,” said lawyer Harvey Ford when asked about his tactics for remembering names.

“I know it’s important to people that you remember them, and that’s why I try to honor them with that memory,” said Gov. Charlie Crist, who effortlessly greets hundreds of people by their first names. “I’m far from perfect. One thing I try to do is say their name back to them when I meet them.” Personal development instructor Alan Mong offered the same tip to a Chamber of Commerce group recently during a short program with tips for remembering names. To become really proficient he invited members to attend a seven-hour memory training workshop for $649 hosted by his employer, Freedom Personal Development of Madison, Wis. Mong has led similar programs for SunTrust and Bank of America, among other companies. “The biggest misconception about memory is that it’s age-related,” he said.

Mong called on the audience to create one list of 15 random things such as pizza, pumpkin, Afghanistan and sunshine. He then dazzled the crowd by reciting the list forward and backward by memory. Chamber members called out numbers from one to 15 out of order, and he named which item on the list corresponded. Jaws dropped. Mouths gaped. It was as if he had sawed a woman in half.

“My memory is no better than anyone’s in this room,” Mong said. “It’s just better trained. Having a trained memory can make you more money and reduce stress.” Author and speaker Peggy Post, the great-granddaughter-in-law of Emily Post, once the American barometer of etiquette, grants us all blanket forgiveness for forgetting names.

“Everybody draws a blank, even with somebody they know very well. Don’t be ashamed to admit it because it’s better than ignoring the person,” she said. “You can say: ’I’m sorry. I can’t believe I’ve forgotten your name’ or ’I remember meeting you last summer but I can’t remember your name.’ If you can tell the person other details you do remember about them, it helps the situation.”

Louis Murphy, pastor at Mount Zion Progressive Missionary Baptist Church in St. Petersburg, Fla., estimated he knows half the names in a congregation of 4,500.

“I wish I could tell you I know every last name, but I don’t,” he said. “I hate when I can’t remember a name, and my memory is terrible. I have to be very, very intentional about” remembering names. When he meets someone he repeats their name several times in conversation.

“Even out of their presence I might say (to myself) ’Okay, I just met Ian.’ As many times as you can repeat their name after you first meet, the greater chance you have of remembering that name,” Murphy added.

Tips and tactics for remembering names:

Repeat someone’s name when you meet them and use it at least twice more in conversation. Even repeat it to yourself as you walk away.

— Slow down and seriously focus on the name when you are introduced.

— Create a mnemonic device for names. For Curtis, think of giving the person a curfew. For Doug, picture him standing next to a hole he dug.

— Associate the person with a famous person. Ron works really hard; so does Ron Howard. — Make a visual impression on your brain by focusing on a name tag, business card or receipt.

— Think about who might be at a function before you arrive and ask a spouse or colleague beforehand if you’re stuck on a name.

— The stressed mind doesn’t work as well. Relax and that name might just come to you.

— When your memory fails you it’s better to admit it than ignore a person or introduction.